Motherhood, Defined

moth·er·hood  (muth’er-hood’)

noun

1.  the state of being a mother; maternity.

2.  the qualities or spirit of a mother.

3.  mothers collectively.

4.  more laughter; more tears. Everything is deeper, brighter.

5.  having someone who knows you in new ways, inside and out.

6.  the fallout from this eight pound, four ounce bomb that leveled your old life.

7.  the way your heart tracks the number of miles between you and your child.

8.  paying close attention to where things fall when you drop them. You never thought you’d spend so much time          tracking down those little plastic barbs that hold tags to clothing.

9.  keeping him safe.

10.  playing with toys again. You’d forgotten how fun play-dough can be.

11.  making sure you always have milk in the house.

12.  making sure you always have enough energy to smile.

13.  dishes. So many dishes. And laundry; the dirty socks multiply and spawn. Where do they come from?

14.  being warmth, food, home.

15.  reading the same books over and over again; singing the same songs over and over again; picking up the same toys over and over again.

16.  you never thought you’d baby-talk him. It embarrassed you when other mothers did it. Why not just talk to your kid like a normal person, you thought. But now you know why. He likes those lilting tones, the wideness of your eyes. And you’d do anything for one second of that smile.

17.  diaper after diaper after diaper.

18.  knowing you’ll be the first person to disappoint your child. But you’ll also be the first person to make him smile, make him laugh, give him love and comfort.

19.  finding other people’s babies cute for the first time.

20.  learning to cook, or at least, assemble.

21.  a new first every day.

22.  after your parents, your sisters, your friends, a rotating cast of boyfriends, and your pets, you thought you knew all the different ways there were to love. But then, here is something completely new. You get to learn how to love all over again.

23.  taking care. Your baby is small and squishy. Everything you do leaves an impression.

24.  understanding a secret language, so that when your baby says “baa” you know he wants a spoon.

25.  some days you count the minutes until you can put him down for the night. Then, as soon as he’s down, sleeping peacefully in his crib, it’s all you can do to keep yourself from waking him. You miss him so much.

26.  instinctively knowing just how high your child can reach.

27.  getting more colds, more stomach flus, more hugs, more kisses.

28.  finding your limits: the least amount of sleep that will get you through a month; the ceiling of your happiness.

29.  new courage; new fear.

30.  growing a second heart and letting it out into the world.

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